Hello!

    Totally forgotten that we have a writing space here, until a friend of mine says that I should start blogging. Reading back a few posts, realising how much I have changed and become a different person now, probably still evolving. haha 

   What made me stop writing for many years was mostly depression. I felt writing will reinforce my thoughts, somehow solidifies it, reassure the ideas and negative thoughts that I had. Since this blog is about thoughts and inspiration anyway, and I didn't have any good inspiration :p So, decided to take a break from writing, focus on my mental health - never thought that I would need so long of a break to the point I have forgotten about this blog. Well, I am glad that I am back here once again.

I am surprised this blog is still being updated!

shot taken : 飛騨市古川町

    

    Currently in Japan, never thought that I will be here for good on year 2025 onwards. It's a blank canvas for me, looking for something new to work with. Of course, income gonna be much lower or maybe just pocket money from the husband but that's okay, as long as I am happy living a simple life. A few things in my mind that I wanna do but still unsure about it. 

    So many good memories of me and my best friend spending time together flashing back in my mind now :)) 

じゃ、まため〜

Jya, matane~ 

See you next time~ 

        

5 year recap (2019 till 2023)

Whoa, time surely went by fast isn't it. Yesterday was my 170th day in Bangkok and suddenly I miss the memories I have captured in Dayre.com. I captured much memories of my travel and Taiwan exchange on that platform, and now I couldn't really recall my life there except some snippets that I have blogged here. Thus I decided that I must note down some of my thoughts here, if not I couldn't recall it back few years down the road. But before that, let's do a quick summary of the year 2019 - 2023.

Year 2019 (26 yo)

Started working at HRDF 30th Jan onward as research associate, where I looked into the outcome of training schemes. Lots of learning in first year, but got kinda repetitive after the 5th or 6th Outcome report. Nevertheless, colleagues and teammate were really fun during my stint here.

Travels done in 2019:

25th-29th Jan: Taipei with parents

2nd-4th Mar: Melaka Airbnb trip with Hui Ghee and Chui Ling

13th-15th July: Kuching with Mom (Rainforest World Music Festival)

17th-23rd Nov: Bangkok (ASEAN Sport for Development, Peace and Leadership)

27th-31st Dec: Nha Trang and Dalat with mom and Do Re Mi cousins, fun times.

Year 2020 (27 yo)

Political drama and shit happened this year. The country went into lock down 18th March onward, I got so bored that I started planting onions. I also had fun utilising Classpass for Flowride and massage. 

Travels done in 2020:

1st-4th Oct: Pulau Perhentian with Axiata peeps (Gotten my PADI open water diving license)

13th-14th Dec: Melaka and Tangkak trip with Christina and Yi Wen

Year 2021 (28 yo)

Left HRDF in September 2021 and joined Shopee right away without much break. As Covid still very much present during this time, only managed to cuti-cuti Malaysia this year.

Travels done in 2021:

14th-16th Nov: Tangkak trip with Christina, Yi Wen and Chow Chow doggo

26th-30th Dec: Lone Cameron Highland trip (Traveller Bunker Hostel)

Year 2022 (29 yo)

Left Shopee in March 2022 and then joined Kenanga in May 2022.

Travels done in 2022:

15th-17th July: Chui Ling came visit KL, what a food trip

10th-13th Aug: Penang (Caught up with Shin Yee and lecturer)

11th-15th Dec: Hatyai and Trang with Hui Ghee

Year 2023 (30 yo)

Left Kenanga in August 2023 and started masters study in Bangkok right away.

Travels done in 2023:

14th-18th Jan: Krabi diving trip

5th August: Chulalongkorn Uni, Bangkok

29th-31st Dec: Kanchanaburi (Asleep hostel, Death Railway Museum)

Recap for the year 2017 and 2018

Totally forgot that I did not write a recap for the year 2017, but I guess is okay to recap it now because the year 2017 and 2018 are similar in a lot of ways. A huge chunk of my time is just consumed by work and Axiata's programme. So I guess I'll gather some thoughts to write on these two and some other significant events/travels that had happened in these 2 years.

I started my 2-year contract officially in the company on 1st Jan 2017 and tendered my resignation on 1st October 2018. If I were to include my 3 months internship with them, I have actually been in the company slightly more than 2 years. I enjoyed my first year a lot, it was a lot of learning and fun time with my colleagues. Ainil and Ika joined the team near the end of Feb 2017. HG (and Diyana) joined my team in August 2017 till December 2017 and it was nice having her. Second-year learning curve was flat and was just a hell ride of the down curve due to the election. The whole year can be summarised with just one word, that is waiting. Waiting for the bonus, waiting for the election, waiting for election result, waiting for certainties and direction. Bonus was delayed 2 months and when it finally came, it was a pittance. Promotion was mentioned but wasn't given, so learnt some corporate lessons here. Due to the change of government, after the election was just many months of uncertainties and instability. Taking away some other corporate lessons, I made an unwavering decision of resigning in October 2018 and begin a 2 months break. During that 2 months break, I did some part-time at Mingle Hostel KL.

Moving on to Axiata's programme, as a whole, I'm really glad to be able to learn about different industries and get to know a lot of other young professionals. It broadens widely my social circle.

Trips I did across 2017:
Kuching 11th- 14th March  (with Szu Ann), visited lots of museums and caves.
Hatyai 9th- 11th June  (with Mom)
Melacca 30th- 1st July  (with TC colleagues)
Ho Chi Minh 31st- 4th Sept  (with Pei Seen)
Johor Bahru 9th-11th Sept  (with mom)
Pulau Tinggi 29th- 1st Oct  (with LoGS)
China 22nd- 2nd Jan  (with Hui Ghee), celebrated Chrismas and New Year's eve across Shanghai, Beijing, Tianjin and Wuxi.

Trips I did across 2018:
Penang 3rd- 5th March  (with TC colleagues)
Kuantan 31st- 2nd April  (with Hui Ghee)
Kluang 25th-27th May  (with Hui Ghee and Chui Ling)
Phuket 20th- 25th June  (with Szu Ann)
Jakarta 27th- 30th July  (alone)
Genting Highlands 5th-6th August  (with mom)
Cameron Highlands 7th-11th September (with Hui Ghee)
Bangkok 12th-18th October  (RBC)
Bangkok 30th- 4th November  (RBC)
Siem Reap and Phnom Penh 23rd- 29th November  (8ducate)
Ipoh and Penang 6th- 9th December  (Bro and uni coursemates)

Significant event:
October 2018, I bought my own apartment paying down payment, legal fees and all by myself.

That's all that I can recall for now for past two years, will add if there's anything else that is significant.

A recap of the year 2016

Jan - Year 3 sem 1 final exams.

Feb-June Last semester of my university studies. Taking the chance that it is our last semester, me and my coursemates bonded strongly over the course of these few months. Because we are like, is either now or never since this is the last lap before we depart our own ways into the working world. We grew very close to each other through those times and till now we are still in close contact. So much so I spent three consecutive weekends with them the past few weeks. And that we are able to have deep conversations about life till wee hours of early morning. Love them all.

July-Sept Spent most of the time around travelling. First was 40 days backpacking around Thailand and Laos. After that was 2 weeks in Australia. The biggest gain from travelling alone for long period of time is that I get to know myself much better. Realising few things in life, I became much focused after that. This is very important to me because the moment I finished my exams in June, I was pretty much clueless and aimless. As much as I thought I know myself, I got confused with myself again when I was given two very different job opportunities later on.

Oct-Dec Did an internship for fun (because I already graduated) in TalentCorp Malaysia. And it was indeed very fun.

So what do I exactly do for now in my work? I'm in the research department and our main research is to come up with the Malaysia's Critical Occupation List (COL). Similar to UK's Shortage Occupation List (SOL) and Australia's Skilled Occupation List (SOL), we would like to find out what are the occupations that is critical in Malaysia, and from there it can be as a reference for our immigration and education as we collaborate with all other government agency.

The list that we did for this year is already published online and can be found just by googling it. The online version just a very brief summary list for it, the full report are still in progress (I'm still writting part of the report now) and we would publish the hardcopy ones this month or next month. UK did their SOL list for the first time in 2007/2008, so comparatively we are still fairly new in this as 2016 is the second year the team does it (a pilot list was done in shorter amount of time the previous year).

As for 2017, we would expand our reasearch to semi skills occupations (currently just highly skilled occupations) and also to include more sectors. Agreement with World Bank is extended for another year for this. There are also areas of improvement for methodology to be even much more refined and robust. And starting from this year, we would also like to do an annual research publication report for other topic of interest. In the same time also we doing ad hoc research work for other dept.

So yep, that's basically what I do for work. I just signed my offer letter with TalentCorp few weeks ago. On the offer letter states a salary of which is approximately half of what the other job could offer me, trust me, is not an easy decision. I wasn't even emotionally stable after I signed it, but I think I have pretty much make peace with myself since then. I love my job a lot, so much so I love weekdays more than weekends, and if i were to use one word to desribe my work, is EXCITING.

Cheers to 2017! =D

Reflection upon year 2015

Normally I do this every year, but I think I have skipped one year, that is year 2014, couldn't find it anywhere, guess I have forgotten about it when I was in the midst of final exam last year around this time. So here it is, the summary of what happens in my life in the year of 2015 by month:

January:
First half of the month was dealing with my final exam. Local university timetable is like that, so that's why now also I'm in the midst of my finals, still have two more paper to go, and I have pretty much has screwed up the first three due to lack of preparation and my own laziness. Sigh. Anyway, semester break then begins and I spent most of the time chilling at home, run errands with my mom or anything relating to my Taiwan exchange. I also spent some days painting my house during this month.

February:
Arrived in Taipei at 10.05pm on the the first day of Chinese New Year, quite chasm that time, as I did not have the chance to celebrate with my mom's side family, couldn't be help, flight ticket has been bought and I console myself that there is Chinese New Year every year. Still, I think I have missed those moments in life and I could never get it back. Spent the next few days exploring Taipei and my university.

March, April, May, June:
Experience classes in NTU, of new friends made, of new places explored in Taiwan, of new things learned.

My biggest take in from my exchange is friends, I really love the two close friend that I have made from this exchange, constantly misses them and wish to meet them as soon as possible. Our friendship was strong not because our personality or character clicks per se, but it is because our time spent together has tested us and there is nothing at all between us. Miss them.

July:
Spent the beginning of the month exploring Taiwan with Darren.

Spent the end of the month exploring Siem Reap with my mom. It was great time. Food was good, people were nice, Angkor Wat is lovely.

August:
Made two trips to Ipoh, one was food trip, another one was because Darren had dengue. Works part time in Sunway Lagoon, real part time, like just 3 days only. And also work part time in my primary school, 7 days only. Tried fishing and went for Bersih 4.0.

September:
New semester begins in USM. Went Langkawi with Zhuo Ting.

October:
Had fun over the weekend when dear came over to penang.

November:
Make a road trip to Hatyai and Krabi with my roommate, it was fun time.

December:
Nothing much. If there is anything worth highlighting would be made a new friend that adores me.


What have I learnt this year:
1) How heaven taste like and how hell taste like. Taiwan was heaven, Penang was hell. I wonder why so. Was it because one doesn't know how does bitter taste because he never tasted sweetness before? Or was it because I have explored finish Penang and Taiwan was a new thing to explore?

I loves Taiwan, the life there, the convenience and efficiency, everything was good and comfortable. Then I went to Cambodia, and taking there as comparison, I was grateful that I am Malaysian. But when I came to Penang, I just grow to hate this city and this country more and more. The efficiency of how we do things here really sucks, and sucks is really too mild a word to comprehend the deep shit  hole we're living in where there is no efficiency but just stupidity. Just as people grow older seems to have more wisdom, some malaysians simply picked up idiocy and lost common sense along as they grow.

2) The hardest thing to invest is human relationship. As human is a complex being and very versatile, it requires much to keep it strong. Many of times people actually don't give a damn about anyone else except themselves, everyone, including me. So  I have learnt not to give a single damn about others too. Through my lonely times in penang, I have grown to be very independent and do everything alone. Thus, between a human and a dog, I would prefer a dog ten times over.

3) I have cease to appreciate little things in my life. I notice this as I scroll though my dayre, I use to appreciate every single thing that makes me happy in my life, for life was real good, as Taiwan was heaven. But as I begin my days in Penang, I'm just dreading it and anticipating end of studies. It could be I have lost interest in what I'm studying also, if I have took Thai language, I would have had the motivation to study it every single day. I still appreciate little things like when I have nice food, example like chinese food for dinner in this exam period, I grins and celebrate a little during moments like those. Is just that those are the only times it seems.

4) Choose friends wisely. Some friends I thought that we could actually be lifelong friends are the very same people I'm avoiding now. One shouldn't get herself too close to anyone that is of negativity that it drains you. Flee away. Having no friend is better at times like this.

I guess I should stop here as of now, before I unravel more negative things I learnt in life such as the world is a cruel place and people are benefit seeking. Part and parcel of life aren't it? Guess I have learnt many negativity of the human nature rather than human beauty this year. Hope that it is not too bad in the year 2016.


Am still learning. Till then, peace out.

Things I'll miss when I leaves Taiwan

The post below was drafted one month ago, and that was my feeling and knowledge of it one month ago, it was dragged till now only I post it because I find it really time-wasting to spend a few hours to do a post and 30 minutes to upload a picture. So yes, throwback to one month ago's feeling and updates:

I pretty much have around two and a half months left before I board my flight back to KL. At this point of time, I'm not sure if I'm ready for that. Sure, I'll miss some Malaysians food here and there, but not always, it only happens when I see close up photo of Msian food on Instagram or Facebook. Other than that, I'm pretty much fine. The reason I'm not sure if I'm ready to leave Taiwan is because I have become very comfortable living here, so so comfortable. And what are the factors that make it so comfortable?

Well, let's see:

1. Convenience store and supermarket

Yes yes, people who knows me well enough know that I'm quite a fan of awesome 7-Elevens, not those that are in Malaysia please, but those that in our dear neighbor, Thailand's. And Taiwan's are equivalently as AWESOME.

But if you were to ask me to choose, I think I prefer Family Mart more, because I prefer their instant food. If it is chips I'm looking for, I'll head to 7E then, because they have awesome seaweed sprinkled potato chips.

And convenience store is not the only shop that open 24H, there is also Welcome supermarket that open 24H too. So yeah, need not to worry if you need to get some fruits or stuffs when is close to midnight. plus it is really safe to go out at night, so there is no worries at all of being robbed or what nonsense thing that could happen in msia.

2. 光南大批發

Located nearby the main gate of my uni, this should be the shop I most frequently visit other than convenience store. Me and my friends loves this shop due the fact that they are distributor like their name suggest, they offer the cheapest price in town yo for all the things they offer.

3.湳山剧院
This is a second round cinema where they screen movies that was out 2-3 months ago. With just a ticket price of NTD150, you can watch as many movie as you want and bring in whatever food you want, super duper awesome! Imagine having a hot bowl of noodle or rice or whatever snacks you wish to have it cinema. In Msia, this is illegal you know.

4. The very central location of my Uni.
Since my house is not at the Golden Triangle in KL (like duh), I have never came to realize how convenient it is to live at the central of it all. To give a bit of background, my uni, that is National Taiwan University, is located at Taipei, precisely, Daan district. It is one of the most expensive estate area according to my Taiwanese friend. I'm very close by to a lot of places, I literally can cycle to Taipei 101 if I want, it'll take me just 20 mins I think.

Blue ones are the popular tourist destination, between purple line are like our Pavilion or Orchard, where all the high end shops are. Red dot is the exact location of my dormitory, so literally, everything is just in front my door step, I can just cycle to wherever I'm able to. In Alam Megah, I can only cycle to Giant sia, I can't even cycle to One City Mall. In Penang, I have no idea where can I cycle to from my dormitory.

That's all for now, will update this post if I could think more, because I really doubt I only miss so little of Taiwan.

Taiwan, thus far.

Just had a good 3 hours afternoon nap from 1pm-4pm just now, so thought that I might as well update my blog before dinner time since I'm fully energized now.  I was exhausted from the trip to Taichung that I just got back from yesterday night.

Other than dayre which I sometimes I spammed it with photos, I did not actually wrote any diary or journal for the moments I'm in Taiwan. And I thought that if I did not even blog anything about it, I will surely regret later, as I have not left any thoughts nor reflections on the days when I'm in Taiwan. Is just like the university days when I'm in Penang, being caught up with lots of things happening around, I did not stop to capture the moments I feel at times where I felt is worth jotting down. And days just passes really really fast, and humans like we, will forget about it real soon.

So, how's Taiwan thus far? It is real good. My tolerance of away from home when I was in Penang is 2 months. Getting close to it will makes me really homesick and I would feel that I just want to get home as soon as possible no matter what. How long have I been in Taiwan? 6 weeks. Do I feel homesick now? Not really. Other than missing Malaysians food occasionally, I did not feel the urge that I want to go home as soon as possible now. In fact what I do wish now is that may time passes really really slow as I have only 3 months left in Taiwan and I don't want it to comes to an end so fast. At least that's what how I feel currently.

So what do I like or enjoy about Taiwan thus far?

Firstly, I really love the sense of safety and security it gives me. It is really safe to roam alleys at night and it is safe to leave your belongings unattended. There's minimal chances that anyone would rob anyone here or steal anyone's else things in this country. Not to say hundred percent it won't happen, but the chances of happening? Really really low. And when it really happens, it is caught on camera, this is when it is on news. CCTVs is everywhere, so for any crime one attempt to do, it will be caught on camera, so just don't do it. I have a chat with one of Taiwan friend about this, I told her about it and I compare it in Malaysia. Crime is so prevailing in Malaysia that we are so used to robbing and such. Robbing in housing neighborhood is so common nowadays that it is bound to happen on anyone, and not just one time. She told me that this is because back in the older days of her mom, Taiwan is not as developed as now and everyone is very poor. There's no one that would want to rob anyone because everyone is equally very poor. So because of that, robbing or stealing is really not common.

Second, the quality of education it gives. NTU is ranked between 61th-70th in the 2015 Times Higher Education. Thus the quality of lecturers, academic resources, education systems it provides is really good. Lecturers are really proficient in their own field and held great commitments to their responsibilities. It was first time in my life I receives email from lecturer apologizing to us because he came late to the class (some misunderstanding of administration). Lecturers frequently encourages interaction and participation in classes. The database, statistical softwares are also much better (which I believe much more expensive) than those that I use in USM.

Third, the absurd convenience of everyday living. If there are 10,000 students in NTU, then there are 9,900 bicycles in NTU. I can get to to anywhere in campus and out of campus conveniently using my bicycle. All roads are paved according to the need of bicycles, bicycles parking is everywhere in the city. There is huge underground parking for bicycles in the campus, huge bicycles parking nearby the MRT stations. And the 7-Elevens, Family Mart at all corners of the streets, opens 24/7 serving at your convenience. MRT can pretty much get you to anywhere you want to go in Taipei. As far as to the Zoo, to the beach, to the domestic airport, and to your house at suburbs.

Forth, the people. Taiwanese are generally helpful and friendly people. If you are lost or anything, they will try their best to help you. Two days ago I was in Taichung, after I got off from the bus, I not sure which direction I should head towards to. And like anywhere else, there'll be taxi drivers at the road side hoping to get customer. I was looking at the map, so the taxi uncle asks me where I want to go. I refuse to answer at first as I afraid that he'll persuade us to get on taxi. But still clueless on which direction I should go, I told him I wish to go Feng Jia. Then he told me the direction on how to go there, and told me that just walk for sometime and I'll reach. He is generally sincere to help me. Do you know what I would I expect if I'm in Malaysia? The taxi uncles will tell me that my destination is freaking far away and I can't reach there by foot and he can fetch me with taxi.

That's what I can think of thus far that I like about Taiwan.


Some pictures of my campus:

 椰林大道

Main Library

Bicycle level: NTU

Main Entrance gate. NTU is built by the Japanese during the colonial era, thus the strong hint of Japanese architecture can be found in campus.

A lot of locals likes to come in to relax and chill in the campus ground during the weekends. On those days, you'll get to see a lot of families simply spending quality time together cycling, jogging, exercise, picnic etc.

I guess that's all for now. Sincerely hoping that I'll update as much as possible during the course when I'm in Taiwan.

Cheers,
Lee Xiang

A mainlanders thoughts

Found this while reading exchange students report, felt that this is really good. Get to see from a different perspective, with some deep feelings.

台湾游学记

从哪里开始？我不知道。至今还能够清晰地回忆起飞临台湾时的情境，我 趴在舷窗上，眺望着天空下岛屿的轮廓，曾经在地图前端详了无数次的海岸线 真切地展现在眼前，我认出了像展翅的蝴蝶一样的澎湖，我看到了台湾岛西部 狭长的平原，然后我怀着一种既熟悉又陌生的感觉缓缓地降落。

 或许这就是我能找到的最合适的开始。当时决定申请赴台交换的初衷是什 么？两岸分治了六十余年，就好像一个大型的试验，来自同一个培养皿的样本 被放在两个互相隔离的实验室中培养，目的是要找到中国的未来。我曾经相信 这是一个公正的对照试验，直到带着好奇踏上对岸才发现实际竟是那么得不严 谨。两个实验室的条件相差到没有丝毫的可比性，一个那么大一个又那么小， 一个结构那么复杂一个却那么单一。由此看来，这个试验从一开始就注定是失 败的，注定会毫无结果，或者说两个实验室的出现从一开始就是个悲剧，也许 又只是一出悲剧高潮的开始，而整出悲剧的起点又在哪里？

 近来在我头脑里，一个“中国革命”的概念越来越清晰。在现代化的世界 中，“每个人的自由发展是一切人的自由发展的条件”，所有革命的最终目的 是使每个人都能够成为像人一样的存在；而在积贫积弱列强环伺的中国，找回 国家的独立自主进而实行赶超战略又被自然而然地公认为实现最终目的的必要 前提。因此，民族主义成为了中国革命的原初动力，为了实现民族主义的目标 又必然要采取国家主义的手段。于是在革命以来的中国，所有对未来的设想都 必须接受民族主义和国家主义的改造后才有可能付诸实践。长此以往，手段逐 渐取代了目的，于是我们有了中华民国，又有了中华人民共和国，人民的地位 在名称上被捧得越来越高，人民的权利和幸福却又不得不服从于所谓国家和民 族的利益，特别是在本朝，号称代表国家和民族的某团体的利益竟然也可以堂 而皇之地凌驾于人民之上。由此看来，中国革命的悲剧线索早在革命之初便预 设好了。

两个世纪前革命爆发，一百年后两岸共同的缔造者临终遗言“革命尚未成 功”，至今又快一百年。这样写来，又颇有些“自周公卒五百岁而有孔子，孔 子卒后至于今五百岁”的意味。意在斯乎！意在斯乎！

前几日偶然翻阅林觉民《与妻书》，顿时感到自己是多么有幸能够生在现 在的中国，又是多么不幸生在了现在的中国。有幸的是，国家的独立自主已经 达成，再不须我立志牺牲百死不辞；不幸的是，革命远未成功却被迫戛然而止， 再不容我公然倡导为天下先。政治身份为思想设置了框架，但也因祸得福地为 思想指出了方向，或许我应该公开地转向社会民主主义寻找中国的未来，我应 该读一些伯恩斯坦、考茨基、托洛茨基、布哈林、陈独秀甚至赵紫阳。我可能 会自觉地站在历史上的失败者一边，因为我相信这是人性在未来必然的选择。 游学台湾，最令我感到意外又最令我敬佩的人是蒋经国，中正纪念堂只出现在 台北，经国先生纪念馆却遍布在台湾各地。有些人死了，他还认为自己活在别 人心中；有些人死了，人们会自发地纪念他。历史不可欺骗，过去的隐恶总会 在某个时刻昭然若揭，人性是评判一切的标准。

在台湾看到这样一则政治评论，孙中山是天元上帝下凡，带来了龟神和蛇 神两位助手，旨在拯救中国人民，不料二神后来反目成仇，终致忘记了初衷。 战争、饥荒、运动、迫害，都是中国革命的产物，也都把手段当成了目的。这 种倒置掏空了革命的基础，违背了人性，辜负了历史，人民颠沛流离音讯隔绝 互不往来，国家也错过了再次统一的时机，两岸都只有国家的人民，不再有人 民的国家，这是倒置的革命带给人民的剧痛。而现在，一边已经成为了真正的 民国，为了根治剧痛便只有矫枉过正，但毕竟是人性的选择，却是一条本可避 免的悲凉出路。有一天，共和国也会成为真正的共和国，一切价值会被重新评 估，如果今天还将革命倒置，将来经历的剧痛必会更加猛烈。写到这里，我又 是多么有幸，能够生在前一次剧痛缓和之后，又是多么不幸，不知下一次剧痛 何时便会猝不及防地到来。

 我会用悲悯的态度看中国革命，因为所有的苦难都要由具体的人来承担。 我就是一个具体的人，“生，亦我所欲也，义，亦我所欲也”，人性要求将颠 倒的革命摆正回来，人性会成为我评判一切的最终标准。而所谓人性的标准， 就是“生存、自由和追求幸福”，就是是否能够使人自由地成为人。而幸福又有很多种，最大的幸福是人的自我解放。解放不可外求，只有内 省，从“莒光”到“自强”，每个人只要求自己成为一个人，便真可“六亿神 州皆尧舜”。幸福来源于自己。

写了这么多，好像重点并不在台湾。看到台湾的现状，每个人都会为它的 地位纠结。我承认应该将目的置于手段之上，却还是脱不了一些旧有情感的窠 臼。怀着矛盾的心情，我有一句话想说给中华民国，望你不要自毁这块金字招 牌，还有一句话要送给台湾，希望你能够早日名正言顺。最后，我只能说，再 见，台湾岛！！！


Copy and paste from http://www2.oia.ntu.edu.tw/IncomingExchange/www/experience/102/incoming/007614.pdf

Resultant of boredom

Saturday, 18 Oct 2014.

Raining since 330pm till now 730pm.
I'm so bored to the extend that I feel like going to collect all the fallen leaves to make compost, collect them and sell them LOL. yeah. yeah.

Compost.
Everyone is dumping their waste, leaves, kitchen waste, papers, cut grass, unwanted palm fibers, weeds. All those are treasure weih, to make compost. to grow awesome plant. Maybe I should propose this to my advisor? so that my uni can have a compost site? so that I can visit it whenever I feel bored? lol

Honestly, Kampar is becoming more and more like KL. starting to get sick of it. meh. I need more nature stuff.



#LOA kid getting grumpy in Kampar.

These questions.

Was being asked twice by different group of guys in the span of 3 days these questions:

Group 1, course mates, 3 guys, chit chatting at straits quay

they were asking each other how many children they plan to have, then

A: how about you Lee Xiang? how many children u plan to have? have you thought of it?

Me: *silence*      no...

A: No as in? You didn't thought of it or don't plan to have children.

Me: Don't plan to have children.

Group 2, church friends, 3 guys, on the journey back

They were talking on the preference of children's gender, some say prefer girl, some say prefer boy, then

A: how about you Lee Xiang? have you thought of it? Do you prefer girl or boy? or neither any?

Me: Neither any.


Gosh, why is everyone asking me these questions? what time  of the month are these days? Days of asking whether do you want to have children? Is it because of the position of the moon or the position of the stars? Why is everyone asking me these question these days?!!! Heck!

堵了一口气

缺乏

何谓缺乏？
要知道
这世界上
很多人
除了缺乏爱及注意
还缺乏了自信心
自信不是来自于你拿你的强项
来贬低人家
要知道
世界比你强的人有很多
而你只不过是在这一项比较强
在这一刻你能扬眉吐气
你就在这一刻拼命地炫耀
拼命地强调了自己多么的强
你才觉得这生命你没白活了
挽回了你做人的尊严。

要知道
强的人
不是样样都行的人
因为世界上有很多这种人
强的人
是全部都从他身上拿走
他却还是很能撑得住
这种人  强。

贬低

何谓贬低？
彼此只不过是大学生
鼻子真的不需挺得那么高
的确 社会有它的阶层
但无论如何 一个人不能拥有贬低其他人的意识
就因那人的工作岗位
不是能说有意义的
也没能致富
也没能有前途

可是 要知道
那人也在服务社会
个人 有个人的资源
有些人 已经尽了他们的所能
 不能 看小他们
反要感激他们的付出

要知道
社会没欠你
你欠了社会。

价值

何谓价值？
价值是当你付出你的时间与精力
你觉得很满足 很开心
那件事 就值得了
不需再乎其他人的眼光
他是他 你是你
问自己
你开心吗？
那 就行了




堵了一口气
发泄完了
电池也要没了

Year 2 Sem 1

This post is to list down my epic-packed schedule for this semester. You see, in my uni, we are only allowed to take a maximum of 21 units per semester. But given strong reasons and approval of deputy dean, a student are allowed to take more than that. For me, I'm taking 22 units this semester. Gone through some hard time in getting the approval of deputy dean, I need to really convince her of why would she need to allow me to do so, so she asked me to plan it out and show her. And I did, and she gave me her approval, so happy about that. Due to my degree is a 3-year course, our schedule is really packed and left not much space for us to take anything else, compare to 4-year course that are able to take up to few foreign language till certain level. *jealous*
Oh, and the additional unit i applied is to add Thai language level 1. and this is my schedule:

Monday
0800-0850 Probability Theory
0900-0950 Macro Tutorial
1000-1050 Thai Language
1100-1250 Microeconomics I
1400-1550 Statistical Laboratory
1600-1650 Operational Research Laboratory

Tuesday
0800-0900 Hubungan Etnik ( I don't consider myself having this class, till now I haven't been to any)
1100-1250 Macroeconomics 1
1400-1500 Microeconomics Tutorial
1600-1650 Operational Research
1800-1900 Thai language

Wednesday
1000-1050 Probability Theory Tutorial
1100-1150 Operational Research
1400-1450 Probability Theory
1600-1650 Thai Language
1700-1850 Scientific and Medical English

Thursday
0800-0850 Probability Theory
1400-1450 Thai Language
1600-1650  Scientific and Medical English

Friday
0800-0850 Operational Research

As you can see, I have a lot of class that starts at 8am. *bangs wall*~~ The best motivation thus far to makes me go 8am class is to promise my friend to go breakfast together the day before. By doing that, I'm able to get myself out from my comfy bed of cold weather to go to a 8AM class! To motivate myself more, just. imagine. breakfast.

Also, I have Thai language class almost everyday, that is Monday to Thursday. I was really happy during my first class of Thai, like really happy, have not feel such pure happiness in some time. Till now, I still gladly goes to my Thai Class that is held at language school on our campus highest hill, those that burn thousands of calories by climbing up that hill, for it is a really steep path of climbing up if couldn't get on bus.

My Textbook

The latest page that I was learning.

I have long days on Monday till Wednesday. I can feel that I'm pretty much drained by Wednesday evening, but thus far still feeling alright because I often nap whenever I'm free, since there is nothing much to study yet. My nap can goes up to 3-4 hours, for sleep is a blessing I told myself to cherish.

Above is my academic schedule only, not including activities that I join. For this semester, I'm not joining AIESEC, but still be joining fencing club, holding the position of treasurer (there's very little people in this club only, like maximum also less than 15, quite confirm a person will get a post with no chances of saying no.) Other than that, I'm joining English debate club also for this semester.

Before getting know the junior, I was pretty excited, now that I know them, I'm not anymore. And the reason why? They are very realistic. And very kiasu. And some maybe arrogant too. There are 11 of them only for this year batch (the chinese), 5 of them are Penang people, 1 Subang,  that's make only 5 people from outstation/not city. And you know what? I don't like Penang people, some of them have this mentality that they think they came from the best city of the world, literally. They are really proud of their city, and themselves sometimes. One year I'm here, I'm bored with this "city" already, need not to be so proud kay? Unlike my batch, there are 16 of us, not even one of us is from Penang, 5 of us from KL, and the KL ones are realistic. Other than that, we have 4 from Johor, and others from Taiping, Cameron Highland, Melacca, Klang, Sungai Petani, Alor Setar. And I love these people from small town. They are very selfless and kind. And I think those are very good attributes.

And I guess that's all for now, spent like one hour to blog this. Cheers!

Ending this post with a picture of my hostel. From this pic, we can only see two blocks, that is Tekun guys block on the left, and girls one on the right. There are actually 4 more blocks behind, up on the hill, Saujana and Restu. Those are the ones that can feel themselves living in Genting due to the heavy mist in the early morning in this rainy season.

Even as we grow older, and know the cruel of this world, don't lose the little bit of innocence in ourselves, grab hold of it. 

Uni life, Year 1 Sem 2

Plain awesome. Its always been awesome, from the beginning of semester 1 till now, I'm pretty much enjoying and embracing each and everyday of uni life. So much so that during my first semester, I feel grateful when I'm stepping on USM campus ground. Yup, till that extent I like my uni. Been longing to blog but just not willing to spend that few hours of typing. Felt a bit waste of time. Sincerely hoping that I don't take up too much time blogging this too. Giving myself a 30 mins time frame.

Am currently stepping into my one-week of study week, decided not to go back home for the reason I don't think I can be that focus when studying at home, too much distraction and much higher self-discipline required. Subjects I'm taking this semester:

-Advanced Calculus
-Applied Statistical Method
-Linear Algebra
-Development Economics
-Malaysian Economics
-Tamadun Islam dan Tamadun Asia

The subject I struggle the most? Linear Algebra. Seriously, they says, don't judge a book by its cover, trust me, don't judge a subject by it's title. Don't think it has the word "linear", is not hard. Is freaking damn hard. If anyone one of you thinks that matrix is easy, try taking university linear algebra. It brings you to a whole new world of matrix that is so abstract. Try solving 5x5 matrix,. Try making sense of vectors and its rules in 3D spaces. In fact, it is not even restricted to any dimension, it can be 4D, 5D and so on. Theorems and corollary that comes with it, damn a lot. The 600++ page of text book for it, I don't even understand a quarter of it I think. Most of the students fail this subject and less than a handful gets an A. ==

Ok, around 10 mins left, what else should I write? Hmm. Let see, what I'm anticipating now is my 10 weeks summer break, Holidays~ Please come to me as soon as possible. After the holiday ends, a new batch of junior gonna be in, and I'll become senior, nice! For most of the courses including my course, we have the direct senior-junior culture, so it's quite nice if you get a good one. Senior will bring the junior out for trips, makan etc, but the main purpose is so that junior can inherit senior's notes, textbook, materials etc, and ask them if there is any problem. Nice, though I didn't get a good direct senior, but I'm thankful for another senior that given me her stuff. Super helpful for studies.

Alright, I guess that's all for now, as I really don't wanna spend too much time blogging, and 30 mins time frame is up. Cheers.

Recap: What I did in 2013

Yup, a recap, just how the title puts it. One year has been gone, gonna be a reflection post upon what have I did the past year. Not sure if I could remember much, but I should at least try. 

January Took a lone trip to SG on 4th-6th jan. Suppose to be a good trip with my dear, but lost my wallet on Christmas day, causing a lost of more than 400 bucks cash, and screwed up my plan. Was very angry, make a last minute decision to go ahead anyway to ease my anger a little. Staying back could have driven me mad. Enjoyed my time there visiting museums, and the time spent with Gloria and my cousin brother was good. My cousin is a quiet person most of the time, but having spent the whole day with him, I get to know him better, and find that he's really a nice person. Haha, not that he weren't nice before this kay? Just that he's really quiet during family gatherings, so din get to know him much. The day I came back home from SG, is the day I started to work at One Gift Gallery (aka the hamper company). Guess I shall not put so much words into this for now, not a good experience anyway. It was just plain "working-like-cow-days" to get money. As simple as that. 

February Ended my work on 2nd February. CNY celebrations. Went Bangkok from 28th Feb till 5th March with my mom. That was a nice trip, still in love with Thailand till now. Should make another trip there this year. 

March-May STPM result was out on 18th March, I started working as teacher on 19th March at my primary school. It was a good experience, given another chance, I would go back again, only for becoming temporal teacher, not permanent though. 

June-July Started working at the hamper company again for the Raya season. 

August Pretty much just chilling around I guess.  *as I didn't see any events on my planner*

September-now Started my first semester of uni life in USM, Penang from 1st of September.

*Sharks* Why was January the longest post? I din expect it to be like this, is just that some I have previously written post about it, like Thailand trip and experience as teacher, so need not to repeat it again. As for my uni life, that should be another blog post. Aiks.

Cheers. All in all, 2013 have been good except for the hike of price. =)

Year One Semester 3~!

Today is my first day of third semester of first year of degree! Now is 0222 and what keeping me awake is God's word. This post will be focus on the schedule of this semester, and it will be "awesome". For those who are new to this blog, I'm Christina, studying in Universiti Tunku Abdul Rahman, taking Biotechnology as my major. :)) 

L | Lecture

T | Tutorial 

P | Practical 

Monday : 

12pm - 1pm | English for Science | T

2pm - 3pm  | Principle of Biotechnology | L

3pm - 4pm | Biodiversity and Ecology | L

Tuesday : 

8am - 9am | Biodiversity and Ecology | L

9am - 10am | Biostatistics | T

10am - 11am | Biodiversity and Ecology | T

3pm - 4pm | Biostatistics | L

Wednesday :
9am - 10am | Fundamental of Organic Chemistry | L

11am - 12pm | Principle of Biotechnology | L

12pm - 2pm | Principle of Biotechnology | P

3pm - 4pm | Principle of Biotechnology | T

4pm - 5pm | Fundamental of Organic Chemistry | T

Thursday : 

8am - 10am | Fundamental of Organic Chemistry | L

12pm - 2pm | English for Science | L 

2pm - 3pm | Principle of Biotechnology | L

3pm - 4pm | Biostatistics | L

Friday : 

9am - 11am | Fundamental of Organic Chemistry | P

3pm - 5 pm | Biodiversity and Ecology | P

Principle of Biotechnology is the one I'm really looking forward to. The practical classes too! I love laboratory works and yes, my lab coat is finally back in action! :D 

Christina. 

一包椰浆饭

话是从这里开始的：

由于今天是开放日，全体教师都得在早上就到学校， 所以有老师就帮忙买早餐——椰浆饭，只是需要向她说一声就可以了。我没有向她说我要，可是今早她却放了一包椰浆饭在我桌上，就忙着去派给其他老师了。到她派好回来了，我就问她：

我：老师，这包椰浆饭是给我的吗？
老师1：是的。
我：噢？谢谢老师！
然后我就准备拿钱给老师，
老师1：你不用给，老师请你，下次再回来教哦！
我（吓到）：哈哈， 谢谢！

（老师1坐在我的右边，她的孩子在我的班里。）

继续，

那我就和老师2一边谈天一边吃早餐，吃到一半时，老师2就拿钱给老师1，给了钱回来，她就向我说，

老师2：我已经帮你给了钱（指的是椰浆饭的钱), 所以等下你不用给。
我：老师， 她（老师1）刚才也是这么说，然后她还叫我下次再回来教呢 ！
老师2: 噢？ 是吗？ 我没有条件的，老师只是觉得你很可爱！

我，只好傻笑了。

（老师2坐在我的左边。）

过后呢，才发现我吃了其他老师的，她有订，可是却没拿到，老师1算了一算，才跟我说：

老师1： 唉，你没订啊？
我：我没订呀。

我俩就向那老师说抱歉了，一阵尴尬。

吃了人家份儿的食物，还有人争着帮我付钱，这还是我人生第一次。

这一包椰浆饭，主要让我感受到老师们 给予我莫大的肯定。

就要离开这工作岗位了，到现在才感到依依不舍，之前都迫不及待想离要开这里。也许我有潜质做老师，但我想我不会喜欢上这个工作，原因是： 牺牲很大，被人压迫，很少人会同情自己的处境。

开放日·， 也遇到了形形色色的家长；有的家长很明白学生不容易教，班上46位学生，真的很难教； 有的家长觉得老师的素质很有问题，这么简单的英语都不会，怎么做老师？然后一直投诉·老师多么差，教育制度多么烂，我想说，你要么就去投诉教育部，要么就带你孩子去一间全校老师都很好的学校去！嘴巴那么喜欢批评，又不见你有任何行动。

总结， 其实少了些paperwork，少了些没有意义的报告，回去旧的制度， 老师这一行，其实还是能做的。：）

Being A Teacher

*Taken from Facebook, all rights belongs to its original author, permission has been granted by the original author to re-post this in my blog.

Status Update

By Alina Amir

So here’s a public confession: After 4 months into teaching, I came back from a class this morning, put my books on my desk, coolly walked to the ladies, and broke down; with tears, sobs, frantically fanned myself with my hands thinking that could help calm me down, the whole enchilada. Something I have not done for a very long time.

In the last four months, I could have cried when I had kids calling me a prostitute in mandarin, or that time when a kid told me I should not mess with him because his dad is part of the notorious along gangster crew (which I have never heard of and the phrase “ignorance is bliss” could not have rung truer), or that time when I was wolf whistled at for weeks wherever I went, or when a disruptive boy decided get up in the middle of my lesson, ran around the room and banged every table before he ran out of the class despite me calling after him and then having him come back and literally went on the floor, hugging my feet and begged for my forgiveness the same day, or when I was locked in the school building and then had to come out through the roof (long story) or when a big fat rat, literally, decided to chill right in front of my front door. Those were legit reasons to cry if I wanted to cry. But I didn’t. Not a single tear rolled down my cheeks. I stood up to my boys, I had sleepless nights thinking of strategies to get my kids to just sit down for a single lesson, told every kid who threatened me to bring it on, went to every boy who wolf whistled and threw inappropriate remarks at me, looked them straight in the eyes and said, “how dare you”. I have got nothing to lose and I am sure, as hell is not scared of anybody, no matter who your daddy is.

This morning however, was different. In fact, I wasn’t teaching at all this morning. I was in a form 4 class, of which I only teach PJK to the six of the girls every week. So what was I doing with the entire class? I was invigilating their mid year exam, Sejarah Kertas 3 to be exact; An open book test where students are required to write an essay on a topic given. Just as I finished handing out the exam papers to all 35 students, one boy put his hand up and asked, “ujian apa hari ni, cikgu?” and I went, “HOW CAN YOU NOT KNOW WHAT PAPER YOU ARE SITTING FOR ON THE DAY OF THE EXAM AND EVEN AFTER I HAVE HANDED OUT THE EXAM PAPER” silently in my head. Out loud, I said, “ujian Sejarah, kertas 3. Ujian ni boleh tengok buku, so keluarkan lah buku”. Half of the classroom started to rummage through their bags and looked under their tables for books while the other half put their heads down and went to sleep. Ten minutes into the exam, they were all just staring at their books, opened to the first page. I went to a boy and asked if he knew what he was supposed to do. He shook his head and continued staring at his book. Another boy looked at me pleadingly, and asked, “cikgu, macam mana nak buat ni?” No one was writing anything. No one.

I went to one of the girls and asked her to read the question and then looked for the answer in the book. The first question she asked after I told her that was, “bab berapa tu?” and I could sense the whole class was waiting for me to tell her which chapter to open to. I knew then, that they have never read a single thing from their textbook nor have they learned anything in the past four months of school. Heck, I wouldn’t be going too far if I said they barely learned anything in the last 10 years of school. At that moment, I saw their future flashed through my eyes and I wanted to cry.

I wanted to cry because it was unfair for them to be sitting for an exam that they are clearly not ready for. I wanted to cry because someone allowed this to happen. I wanted to cry because as I was explaining to some of the students on how to do the exam and they were eagerly listening, while I was quietly panicking because I am no way near being a Sejarah Form 4 teacher. I wanted to cry because I felt incompetent, wishing I remembered what I learned back in From 4 so that I can teach them something at that moment. I wanted to cry because it is not their fault. But most of all, I wanted to cry because I have 200 students and I have classes back to back from 7.30 AM up to 10.00PM every day that it would be completely impossible to take on new students. All I could think of was how if only all the educated people in the country would spend their time teaching these kids, then maybe, maybe I’d be writing a different story.

I have never actually done this before; asking people to consider teaching. I believe that entering into the profession should come out of your own will. I have never recommended Teach for Malaysia to anyone. In fact, I’d be all-skeptical to anyone who are actually considering to join TFM. What are you in for? To have connections with top corporate partners? To meet CEOs of this and that? To be featured in newspapers, radio, magazines, online blogs? What are you in for? Is it the tagline? Is it really for the kids? I’ve been asked these questions before and I personally used to think that it was a fair concern. It needs to be out there that being a teacher, through TFM or not, is not even a tad bit glamorous. You don’t get paid on time, you’d be missing best friends’ weddings, family gatherings, birthdays etc., you have crazy deadlines and you’ll feel like crap because you don’t know how you’re doing. Nobody sends you a “good job” email on that awesome class you just had, or though you had. Are you sure you want to be a teacher? If you think it is a walk in the park, be rest assured that it’ll be the ghettoest, most messed up park you have ever walked in. I used to think that only the strong should be a teacher. Only those who know that they won’t quit should be a teacher. Today, I don’t care anymore. Today, I realized how desperate the country is and beggars, can’t be choosers. If you have gone through the education system and came out alive, teach. If you have no idea what to teach, trust me you’ll learn. You’d be surprised to meet kids who have never been told that cleanliness is a virtue, that rempit is not a legit career path, that you don’t have to give up at 16.

Listen to me, drop everything you’re doing and come back to school. Teach them to be human beings because they need to know that screaming at a lady is not the way to speak, that not knowing how to read at 13 is not cool, that cursing at your teachers is rude and to talk back to your mother in front of everybody at school would get you to every hell of every single religion in the world. Teach. If you think it’s too hard and teaching isn’t your thing, then quit. But you can’t quit teaching if you have not actually tried teaching. My point is, every one should teach. Decide later if it is something you want to do in the long run. Just teach. Join TFM, do it the normal route, stop a kid in the middle of the road and ask him/her to tell you the multiplication table, tell him/her a random fact about Egypt or aeroplanes, teach them the right intonation after seeing a question mark, teach.

If you think, all this doesn’t make sense and it’s just some really long facebook status/note by a crazy lady who just cried in a high school toilet, then darling, my dear, you have not taught in a classroom where half of them can barely read and write and the other half is just lost by this immense language barrier that no logical inspiring words can get through them. So teach. I am on my facebook knees.


 

Bangkok, Thailand : Bit by bit : Itinerary

 Thursday, 28th Feb


_Reach Don Mueang Airport around 9p.m. local time
_Checked in Link Corner around 10p.m
_Went out to look for dinner
_Back to room around 12.30a.m

Friday, 1st March

_Walked around Pratunam Area, i.e: Siam Paragon, Siam Centre, Central World, Big C
_Rest a while in the afternoon
_At night went to MBK Tokyu and Siam Art and Discovery Centre

Saturday, 2nd March

_Went Chatuchak in the morning till around 2p.m
_Rest
_Went Terminal 21

Sunday, 3rd March

_Breakfast at Black Canyon
_Shop at Big C.
_Checked out from Link Corner, take taxi to Khao San, Checked in Rambuttri Village and Inn
_evening around 5p.m, took taxi to Yaowarat (Chinatown).

Monday, 4th March

_went to Wat Pho and Wat Arun
_came back around 4p.m, rest, swim at the hotel rooftop pool
_spend the night hanging around Khao San road

Tuesday, 5th March

_wake up, swim.
_get things from 7-eleven near Khao San road
_reach boarding gate 5 minutes before boarding time. Flight departed on time at 12p.m
_Back to home around 7.30p.m

*took me less than half an hour to type this out, as I had directly copied it from my planner. Shortest time ever to blog a post. A rather surface post, but this serves just as an introduction. A detailed one requires a lot of time, really, hours. And that's one reason stopping me from blogging for so long.

Cheers, 

Lee Xiang

Light

Whenever there is light, there is shadows. 

BUT!!! Whenever the light shines from inside out, there is no shadow!!!! :D :D 

Just like The Sun, our source of physical energy. 

Just like Jesus, our source of everything. 

发癫

三更半夜，眼睛还是闪亮亮的。
最近不知道是想太多 还是什么
天天都不能睡，要死噜。
三点三十九分，写着部落格
不知道是再发什么癫。

感觉自己好像 缺乏...
注意？Attention?
像小孩子啊！
有没有搞错？！
我怎么 会变这样
需要 家庭。

祸从口出
是不是太敏感
思想狭窄？
惨！

神啊，祢是我的希望
领导我，祢是我的光
照亮我的道路。