堵了一口气

缺乏

何谓缺乏？
要知道
这世界上
很多人
除了缺乏爱及注意
还缺乏了自信心
自信不是来自于你拿你的强项
来贬低人家
要知道
世界比你强的人有很多
而你只不过是在这一项比较强
在这一刻你能扬眉吐气
你就在这一刻拼命地炫耀
拼命地强调了自己多么的强
你才觉得这生命你没白活了
挽回了你做人的尊严。

要知道
强的人
不是样样都行的人
因为世界上有很多这种人
强的人
是全部都从他身上拿走
他却还是很能撑得住
这种人  强。

贬低

何谓贬低？
彼此只不过是大学生
鼻子真的不需挺得那么高
的确 社会有它的阶层
但无论如何 一个人不能拥有贬低其他人的意识
就因那人的工作岗位
不是能说有意义的
也没能致富
也没能有前途

可是 要知道
那人也在服务社会
个人 有个人的资源
有些人 已经尽了他们的所能
 不能 看小他们
反要感激他们的付出

要知道
社会没欠你
你欠了社会。

价值

何谓价值？
价值是当你付出你的时间与精力
你觉得很满足 很开心
那件事 就值得了
不需再乎其他人的眼光
他是他 你是你
问自己
你开心吗？
那 就行了




堵了一口气
发泄完了
电池也要没了

Year 2 Sem 1

This post is to list down my epic-packed schedule for this semester. You see, in my uni, we are only allowed to take a maximum of 21 units per semester. But given strong reasons and approval of deputy dean, a student are allowed to take more than that. For me, I'm taking 22 units this semester. Gone through some hard time in getting the approval of deputy dean, I need to really convince her of why would she need to allow me to do so, so she asked me to plan it out and show her. And I did, and she gave me her approval, so happy about that. Due to my degree is a 3-year course, our schedule is really packed and left not much space for us to take anything else, compare to 4-year course that are able to take up to few foreign language till certain level. *jealous*
Oh, and the additional unit i applied is to add Thai language level 1. and this is my schedule:

Monday
0800-0850 Probability Theory
0900-0950 Macro Tutorial
1000-1050 Thai Language
1100-1250 Microeconomics I
1400-1550 Statistical Laboratory
1600-1650 Operational Research Laboratory

Tuesday
0800-0900 Hubungan Etnik ( I don't consider myself having this class, till now I haven't been to any)
1100-1250 Macroeconomics 1
1400-1500 Microeconomics Tutorial
1600-1650 Operational Research
1800-1900 Thai language

Wednesday
1000-1050 Probability Theory Tutorial
1100-1150 Operational Research
1400-1450 Probability Theory
1600-1650 Thai Language
1700-1850 Scientific and Medical English

Thursday
0800-0850 Probability Theory
1400-1450 Thai Language
1600-1650  Scientific and Medical English

Friday
0800-0850 Operational Research

As you can see, I have a lot of class that starts at 8am. *bangs wall*~~ The best motivation thus far to makes me go 8am class is to promise my friend to go breakfast together the day before. By doing that, I'm able to get myself out from my comfy bed of cold weather to go to a 8AM class! To motivate myself more, just. imagine. breakfast.

Also, I have Thai language class almost everyday, that is Monday to Thursday. I was really happy during my first class of Thai, like really happy, have not feel such pure happiness in some time. Till now, I still gladly goes to my Thai Class that is held at language school on our campus highest hill, those that burn thousands of calories by climbing up that hill, for it is a really steep path of climbing up if couldn't get on bus.

My Textbook

The latest page that I was learning.

I have long days on Monday till Wednesday. I can feel that I'm pretty much drained by Wednesday evening, but thus far still feeling alright because I often nap whenever I'm free, since there is nothing much to study yet. My nap can goes up to 3-4 hours, for sleep is a blessing I told myself to cherish.

Above is my academic schedule only, not including activities that I join. For this semester, I'm not joining AIESEC, but still be joining fencing club, holding the position of treasurer (there's very little people in this club only, like maximum also less than 15, quite confirm a person will get a post with no chances of saying no.) Other than that, I'm joining English debate club also for this semester.

Before getting know the junior, I was pretty excited, now that I know them, I'm not anymore. And the reason why? They are very realistic. And very kiasu. And some maybe arrogant too. There are 11 of them only for this year batch (the chinese), 5 of them are Penang people, 1 Subang,  that's make only 5 people from outstation/not city. And you know what? I don't like Penang people, some of them have this mentality that they think they came from the best city of the world, literally. They are really proud of their city, and themselves sometimes. One year I'm here, I'm bored with this "city" already, need not to be so proud kay? Unlike my batch, there are 16 of us, not even one of us is from Penang, 5 of us from KL, and the KL ones are realistic. Other than that, we have 4 from Johor, and others from Taiping, Cameron Highland, Melacca, Klang, Sungai Petani, Alor Setar. And I love these people from small town. They are very selfless and kind. And I think those are very good attributes.

And I guess that's all for now, spent like one hour to blog this. Cheers!

Ending this post with a picture of my hostel. From this pic, we can only see two blocks, that is Tekun guys block on the left, and girls one on the right. There are actually 4 more blocks behind, up on the hill, Saujana and Restu. Those are the ones that can feel themselves living in Genting due to the heavy mist in the early morning in this rainy season.

Even as we grow older, and know the cruel of this world, don't lose the little bit of innocence in ourselves, grab hold of it. 

Uni life, Year 1 Sem 2

Plain awesome. Its always been awesome, from the beginning of semester 1 till now, I'm pretty much enjoying and embracing each and everyday of uni life. So much so that during my first semester, I feel grateful when I'm stepping on USM campus ground. Yup, till that extent I like my uni. Been longing to blog but just not willing to spend that few hours of typing. Felt a bit waste of time. Sincerely hoping that I don't take up too much time blogging this too. Giving myself a 30 mins time frame.

Am currently stepping into my one-week of study week, decided not to go back home for the reason I don't think I can be that focus when studying at home, too much distraction and much higher self-discipline required. Subjects I'm taking this semester:

-Advanced Calculus
-Applied Statistical Method
-Linear Algebra
-Development Economics
-Malaysian Economics
-Tamadun Islam dan Tamadun Asia

The subject I struggle the most? Linear Algebra. Seriously, they says, don't judge a book by its cover, trust me, don't judge a subject by it's title. Don't think it has the word "linear", is not hard. Is freaking damn hard. If anyone one of you thinks that matrix is easy, try taking university linear algebra. It brings you to a whole new world of matrix that is so abstract. Try solving 5x5 matrix,. Try making sense of vectors and its rules in 3D spaces. In fact, it is not even restricted to any dimension, it can be 4D, 5D and so on. Theorems and corollary that comes with it, damn a lot. The 600++ page of text book for it, I don't even understand a quarter of it I think. Most of the students fail this subject and less than a handful gets an A. ==

Ok, around 10 mins left, what else should I write? Hmm. Let see, what I'm anticipating now is my 10 weeks summer break, Holidays~ Please come to me as soon as possible. After the holiday ends, a new batch of junior gonna be in, and I'll become senior, nice! For most of the courses including my course, we have the direct senior-junior culture, so it's quite nice if you get a good one. Senior will bring the junior out for trips, makan etc, but the main purpose is so that junior can inherit senior's notes, textbook, materials etc, and ask them if there is any problem. Nice, though I didn't get a good direct senior, but I'm thankful for another senior that given me her stuff. Super helpful for studies.

Alright, I guess that's all for now, as I really don't wanna spend too much time blogging, and 30 mins time frame is up. Cheers.

Recap: What I did in 2013

Yup, a recap, just how the title puts it. One year has been gone, gonna be a reflection post upon what have I did the past year. Not sure if I could remember much, but I should at least try. 

January Took a lone trip to SG on 4th-6th jan. Suppose to be a good trip with my dear, but lost my wallet on Christmas day, causing a lost of more than 400 bucks cash, and screwed up my plan. Was very angry, make a last minute decision to go ahead anyway to ease my anger a little. Staying back could have driven me mad. Enjoyed my time there visiting museums, and the time spent with Gloria and my cousin brother was good. My cousin is a quiet person most of the time, but having spent the whole day with him, I get to know him better, and find that he's really a nice person. Haha, not that he weren't nice before this kay? Just that he's really quiet during family gatherings, so din get to know him much. The day I came back home from SG, is the day I started to work at One Gift Gallery (aka the hamper company). Guess I shall not put so much words into this for now, not a good experience anyway. It was just plain "working-like-cow-days" to get money. As simple as that. 

February Ended my work on 2nd February. CNY celebrations. Went Bangkok from 28th Feb till 5th March with my mom. That was a nice trip, still in love with Thailand till now. Should make another trip there this year. 

March-May STPM result was out on 18th March, I started working as teacher on 19th March at my primary school. It was a good experience, given another chance, I would go back again, only for becoming temporal teacher, not permanent though. 

June-July Started working at the hamper company again for the Raya season. 

August Pretty much just chilling around I guess.  *as I didn't see any events on my planner*

September-now Started my first semester of uni life in USM, Penang from 1st of September.

*Sharks* Why was January the longest post? I din expect it to be like this, is just that some I have previously written post about it, like Thailand trip and experience as teacher, so need not to repeat it again. As for my uni life, that should be another blog post. Aiks.

Cheers. All in all, 2013 have been good except for the hike of price. =)

Year One Semester 3~!

Today is my first day of third semester of first year of degree! Now is 0222 and what keeping me awake is God's word. This post will be focus on the schedule of this semester, and it will be "awesome". For those who are new to this blog, I'm Christina, studying in Universiti Tunku Abdul Rahman, taking Biotechnology as my major. :)) 

L | Lecture

T | Tutorial 

P | Practical 

Monday : 

12pm - 1pm | English for Science | T

2pm - 3pm  | Principle of Biotechnology | L

3pm - 4pm | Biodiversity and Ecology | L

Tuesday : 

8am - 9am | Biodiversity and Ecology | L

9am - 10am | Biostatistics | T

10am - 11am | Biodiversity and Ecology | T

3pm - 4pm | Biostatistics | L

Wednesday :
9am - 10am | Fundamental of Organic Chemistry | L

11am - 12pm | Principle of Biotechnology | L

12pm - 2pm | Principle of Biotechnology | P

3pm - 4pm | Principle of Biotechnology | T

4pm - 5pm | Fundamental of Organic Chemistry | T

Thursday : 

8am - 10am | Fundamental of Organic Chemistry | L

12pm - 2pm | English for Science | L 

2pm - 3pm | Principle of Biotechnology | L

3pm - 4pm | Biostatistics | L

Friday : 

9am - 11am | Fundamental of Organic Chemistry | P

3pm - 5 pm | Biodiversity and Ecology | P

Principle of Biotechnology is the one I'm really looking forward to. The practical classes too! I love laboratory works and yes, my lab coat is finally back in action! :D 

Christina. 

一包椰浆饭

话是从这里开始的：

由于今天是开放日，全体教师都得在早上就到学校， 所以有老师就帮忙买早餐——椰浆饭，只是需要向她说一声就可以了。我没有向她说我要，可是今早她却放了一包椰浆饭在我桌上，就忙着去派给其他老师了。到她派好回来了，我就问她：

我：老师，这包椰浆饭是给我的吗？
老师1：是的。
我：噢？谢谢老师！
然后我就准备拿钱给老师，
老师1：你不用给，老师请你，下次再回来教哦！
我（吓到）：哈哈， 谢谢！

（老师1坐在我的右边，她的孩子在我的班里。）

继续，

那我就和老师2一边谈天一边吃早餐，吃到一半时，老师2就拿钱给老师1，给了钱回来，她就向我说，

老师2：我已经帮你给了钱（指的是椰浆饭的钱), 所以等下你不用给。
我：老师， 她（老师1）刚才也是这么说，然后她还叫我下次再回来教呢 ！
老师2: 噢？ 是吗？ 我没有条件的，老师只是觉得你很可爱！

我，只好傻笑了。

（老师2坐在我的左边。）

过后呢，才发现我吃了其他老师的，她有订，可是却没拿到，老师1算了一算，才跟我说：

老师1： 唉，你没订啊？
我：我没订呀。

我俩就向那老师说抱歉了，一阵尴尬。

吃了人家份儿的食物，还有人争着帮我付钱，这还是我人生第一次。

这一包椰浆饭，主要让我感受到老师们 给予我莫大的肯定。

就要离开这工作岗位了，到现在才感到依依不舍，之前都迫不及待想离要开这里。也许我有潜质做老师，但我想我不会喜欢上这个工作，原因是： 牺牲很大，被人压迫，很少人会同情自己的处境。

开放日·， 也遇到了形形色色的家长；有的家长很明白学生不容易教，班上46位学生，真的很难教； 有的家长觉得老师的素质很有问题，这么简单的英语都不会，怎么做老师？然后一直投诉·老师多么差，教育制度多么烂，我想说，你要么就去投诉教育部，要么就带你孩子去一间全校老师都很好的学校去！嘴巴那么喜欢批评，又不见你有任何行动。

总结， 其实少了些paperwork，少了些没有意义的报告，回去旧的制度， 老师这一行，其实还是能做的。：）

Being A Teacher

*Taken from Facebook, all rights belongs to its original author, permission has been granted by the original author to re-post this in my blog.

Status Update

By Alina Amir

So here’s a public confession: After 4 months into teaching, I came back from a class this morning, put my books on my desk, coolly walked to the ladies, and broke down; with tears, sobs, frantically fanned myself with my hands thinking that could help calm me down, the whole enchilada. Something I have not done for a very long time.

In the last four months, I could have cried when I had kids calling me a prostitute in mandarin, or that time when a kid told me I should not mess with him because his dad is part of the notorious along gangster crew (which I have never heard of and the phrase “ignorance is bliss” could not have rung truer), or that time when I was wolf whistled at for weeks wherever I went, or when a disruptive boy decided get up in the middle of my lesson, ran around the room and banged every table before he ran out of the class despite me calling after him and then having him come back and literally went on the floor, hugging my feet and begged for my forgiveness the same day, or when I was locked in the school building and then had to come out through the roof (long story) or when a big fat rat, literally, decided to chill right in front of my front door. Those were legit reasons to cry if I wanted to cry. But I didn’t. Not a single tear rolled down my cheeks. I stood up to my boys, I had sleepless nights thinking of strategies to get my kids to just sit down for a single lesson, told every kid who threatened me to bring it on, went to every boy who wolf whistled and threw inappropriate remarks at me, looked them straight in the eyes and said, “how dare you”. I have got nothing to lose and I am sure, as hell is not scared of anybody, no matter who your daddy is.

This morning however, was different. In fact, I wasn’t teaching at all this morning. I was in a form 4 class, of which I only teach PJK to the six of the girls every week. So what was I doing with the entire class? I was invigilating their mid year exam, Sejarah Kertas 3 to be exact; An open book test where students are required to write an essay on a topic given. Just as I finished handing out the exam papers to all 35 students, one boy put his hand up and asked, “ujian apa hari ni, cikgu?” and I went, “HOW CAN YOU NOT KNOW WHAT PAPER YOU ARE SITTING FOR ON THE DAY OF THE EXAM AND EVEN AFTER I HAVE HANDED OUT THE EXAM PAPER” silently in my head. Out loud, I said, “ujian Sejarah, kertas 3. Ujian ni boleh tengok buku, so keluarkan lah buku”. Half of the classroom started to rummage through their bags and looked under their tables for books while the other half put their heads down and went to sleep. Ten minutes into the exam, they were all just staring at their books, opened to the first page. I went to a boy and asked if he knew what he was supposed to do. He shook his head and continued staring at his book. Another boy looked at me pleadingly, and asked, “cikgu, macam mana nak buat ni?” No one was writing anything. No one.

I went to one of the girls and asked her to read the question and then looked for the answer in the book. The first question she asked after I told her that was, “bab berapa tu?” and I could sense the whole class was waiting for me to tell her which chapter to open to. I knew then, that they have never read a single thing from their textbook nor have they learned anything in the past four months of school. Heck, I wouldn’t be going too far if I said they barely learned anything in the last 10 years of school. At that moment, I saw their future flashed through my eyes and I wanted to cry.

I wanted to cry because it was unfair for them to be sitting for an exam that they are clearly not ready for. I wanted to cry because someone allowed this to happen. I wanted to cry because as I was explaining to some of the students on how to do the exam and they were eagerly listening, while I was quietly panicking because I am no way near being a Sejarah Form 4 teacher. I wanted to cry because I felt incompetent, wishing I remembered what I learned back in From 4 so that I can teach them something at that moment. I wanted to cry because it is not their fault. But most of all, I wanted to cry because I have 200 students and I have classes back to back from 7.30 AM up to 10.00PM every day that it would be completely impossible to take on new students. All I could think of was how if only all the educated people in the country would spend their time teaching these kids, then maybe, maybe I’d be writing a different story.

I have never actually done this before; asking people to consider teaching. I believe that entering into the profession should come out of your own will. I have never recommended Teach for Malaysia to anyone. In fact, I’d be all-skeptical to anyone who are actually considering to join TFM. What are you in for? To have connections with top corporate partners? To meet CEOs of this and that? To be featured in newspapers, radio, magazines, online blogs? What are you in for? Is it the tagline? Is it really for the kids? I’ve been asked these questions before and I personally used to think that it was a fair concern. It needs to be out there that being a teacher, through TFM or not, is not even a tad bit glamorous. You don’t get paid on time, you’d be missing best friends’ weddings, family gatherings, birthdays etc., you have crazy deadlines and you’ll feel like crap because you don’t know how you’re doing. Nobody sends you a “good job” email on that awesome class you just had, or though you had. Are you sure you want to be a teacher? If you think it is a walk in the park, be rest assured that it’ll be the ghettoest, most messed up park you have ever walked in. I used to think that only the strong should be a teacher. Only those who know that they won’t quit should be a teacher. Today, I don’t care anymore. Today, I realized how desperate the country is and beggars, can’t be choosers. If you have gone through the education system and came out alive, teach. If you have no idea what to teach, trust me you’ll learn. You’d be surprised to meet kids who have never been told that cleanliness is a virtue, that rempit is not a legit career path, that you don’t have to give up at 16.

Listen to me, drop everything you’re doing and come back to school. Teach them to be human beings because they need to know that screaming at a lady is not the way to speak, that not knowing how to read at 13 is not cool, that cursing at your teachers is rude and to talk back to your mother in front of everybody at school would get you to every hell of every single religion in the world. Teach. If you think it’s too hard and teaching isn’t your thing, then quit. But you can’t quit teaching if you have not actually tried teaching. My point is, every one should teach. Decide later if it is something you want to do in the long run. Just teach. Join TFM, do it the normal route, stop a kid in the middle of the road and ask him/her to tell you the multiplication table, tell him/her a random fact about Egypt or aeroplanes, teach them the right intonation after seeing a question mark, teach.

If you think, all this doesn’t make sense and it’s just some really long facebook status/note by a crazy lady who just cried in a high school toilet, then darling, my dear, you have not taught in a classroom where half of them can barely read and write and the other half is just lost by this immense language barrier that no logical inspiring words can get through them. So teach. I am on my facebook knees.


 

Bangkok, Thailand : Bit by bit : Itinerary

 Thursday, 28th Feb


_Reach Don Mueang Airport around 9p.m. local time
_Checked in Link Corner around 10p.m
_Went out to look for dinner
_Back to room around 12.30a.m

Friday, 1st March

_Walked around Pratunam Area, i.e: Siam Paragon, Siam Centre, Central World, Big C
_Rest a while in the afternoon
_At night went to MBK Tokyu and Siam Art and Discovery Centre

Saturday, 2nd March

_Went Chatuchak in the morning till around 2p.m
_Rest
_Went Terminal 21

Sunday, 3rd March

_Breakfast at Black Canyon
_Shop at Big C.
_Checked out from Link Corner, take taxi to Khao San, Checked in Rambuttri Village and Inn
_evening around 5p.m, took taxi to Yaowarat (Chinatown).

Monday, 4th March

_went to Wat Pho and Wat Arun
_came back around 4p.m, rest, swim at the hotel rooftop pool
_spend the night hanging around Khao San road

Tuesday, 5th March

_wake up, swim.
_get things from 7-eleven near Khao San road
_reach boarding gate 5 minutes before boarding time. Flight departed on time at 12p.m
_Back to home around 7.30p.m

*took me less than half an hour to type this out, as I had directly copied it from my planner. Shortest time ever to blog a post. A rather surface post, but this serves just as an introduction. A detailed one requires a lot of time, really, hours. And that's one reason stopping me from blogging for so long.

Cheers, 

Lee Xiang

Light

Whenever there is light, there is shadows. 

BUT!!! Whenever the light shines from inside out, there is no shadow!!!! :D :D 

Just like The Sun, our source of physical energy. 

Just like Jesus, our source of everything. 

发癫

三更半夜，眼睛还是闪亮亮的。
最近不知道是想太多 还是什么
天天都不能睡，要死噜。
三点三十九分，写着部落格
不知道是再发什么癫。

感觉自己好像 缺乏...
注意？Attention?
像小孩子啊！
有没有搞错？！
我怎么 会变这样
需要 家庭。

祸从口出
是不是太敏感
思想狭窄？
惨！

神啊，祢是我的希望
领导我，祢是我的光
照亮我的道路。